Monday 17 July 2023

"Weaponised incompetence" is one reason why men don't want to clean out the litter tray!

I am told that there is a huge discussion on the social network TikTok regarding marriage and divorce. Millions of users are chewing over the concept of "mental load" (the stress of organising a household) and "weaponised incompetence" (the way people - mostly men - avoid house work by purposefully being bad at it).

Wife takes on the 'mental load'
Wife takes on the 'mental load'. Image: MikeB

The terminology is being used in divorce proceedings as a contributory factor when applying for divorce. Weaponised incompetence places a greater burden on the other party who is competent!

As it happens, women take on more of the mental load as they do more of the house work than men. This has consequences in the relationship. And there are wider consequences such as the quality of their work in the workplace as a lot most wives and partners are also workers.

About a quarter of families experience some form of weaponised incompetence. It's a brand-new term and it is not been fully defined yet.


Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it!

♬ A Day in My Life - Soft boy

But I wonder sometimes whether men use the term without realising it to avoid cleaning out the litter tray and general caregiving of the family cat.

It is often said that men prefer dogs and this is understandable because dogs are pack animals and the man is the leader of the pack blah blah blah.

However, men are perfectly capable of looking after both the family cat and family dog. Or to share these responsibilities but to the best of my knowledge, cat caregiving in a family setting normally falls upon the woman; it is her burden.

@maiabemtbc #weaponizedincompentence #weaponizedincompedance #relationshipproblems101 #relationshipproblemsbelike #relationshipproblemss ♬ Sunshine - WIRA

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