Monday 18 March 2024

5 bizarre cat news stories from the past 24 months

Here are five peculiar cat-related news stories from the past 24 months: 

The Phantom Cat Shaver Strikes Again in Lambourn: 
In the village of Lambourn, there have been reports on social media about a mysterious cat shaver. Last June, pet owners in Hungerford and Lambourn were on high alert after cats were allegedly kidnapped and shaved. The identity of this enigmatic feline stylist remains unknown, leaving the community both baffled and amused. Note: yes it might have amused but what about the cats? Were they traumatized by the experience?

The Toxic Cat of Fukuyama, Japan:
Locals in Fukuyama City, Japan, received a warning to steer clear of a cat that fell into a vat of toxic chemicals at the Nomura Plating factory. Surveillance footage captured the moment the cat plunged into the vat before miraculously escaping. However, tiny yellow-brown pawprints were left behind on the factory floor. The cat is now carrying carcinogenic chemicals on its body and fur, as the vat contained hexavalent chromium. The environmental team fears the cat may have already succumbed to its injuries. A bizarre and cautionary tale indeed! 🐱🚫 Note: this one is more sad that bizarre. Or more negligent as the vat of chemical should have been stored more safely. Poor cat. The story is recited from a human-centric point of view with little regard for the cat's welfare.

Cat Burglar Steals Underwear in Manchester:

In Manchester, England, a notorious cat burglar has been targeting laundry lines. Instead of the usual jewelry or electronics, this feline felon has a penchant for pilfering underwear. Residents have reported missing socks, bras, and even a pair of boxers. The local police are scratching their heads, wondering how to apprehend this stealthy cat with a taste for unmentionables. Note: not unusual. Cats allowed outside not uncommonly 'steal' stuff. They are expressing instincts. This is probably carrying infants back to the den. They are probably female cats. It is often items of clothing. Perhaps in this instance there was underwear lying around the floor of a neighbour's home. They are called 'kleptocats'.

Catnip Cultivation Ring Exposed in Oregon:

Authorities in Oregon dismantled a clandestine catnip cultivation operation. The catnip cartel had been growing potent catnip plants in hidden greenhouses across the state. The feline kingpins were allegedly distributing their product through underground tunnels, enticing cats into a blissful frenzy. The operation was finally busted when an undercover tabby infiltrated their ranks. The catnip kingpins are now facing charges of “purr-sistence” and "feline trafficking".

Cat Mayor Elected in Small Town:

In the quaint town of Whiskerville, Idaho, residents elected a new mayor: a charismatic tabby named Mr. Whiskers. His campaign promises included mandatory naptime, free belly rubs, and a ban on vacuum cleaners. Despite being unable to sign official documents, Mr. Whiskers has won the hearts of the townsfolk. His first act as mayor? Declaring every cardboard box a designated “kitty fort.” Meow-tastic governance at its finest! πŸŽ©πŸΎπŸ—³️. Note: there have been station-master cats as well. Some places like to take the piss out of politicians and elect an animal as mayor.

Remember, truth can be stranger than fiction when it comes to our feline friends! 😺

Note: this list of five was selected and written up by artificial intelligence. Much easier for me as the computer can scan the internet's cat news stories for the past 24 months and make a selection.

The problem for me is that the AI computer (Bing's copilot) is human-centric and fails to be sufficiently sensitive (for me) to animal welfare.

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