Saturday 1 January 2022

Is it shameful for a man to cry when his cat dies or is euthanized?

I have decided that the question in the title is based upon stereotyping men. At the end of the day it is a silly question because if a man has a close bond with the family cat he is likely to cry when the time comes to euthanise his cat or the cat has been killed in an accident or died of a serious disease. It is entirely natural to grieve the passing of a domestic cat companion who will be treated as a member of the family in a home where there is good caregiving.

Is it shameful for a man to cry when his cat dies or is euthanized?
Sodium pentobarbital. Does it cause pain in cats when euthanized? Image: Google Images.

About the image above, I have this to say: I am asking the question whether euthanising a cat with sodium pentobarbital is genuinely painless. When this drug is delivered to humans in 84% of cases their lungs fill up with a frothy liquid which causes pain and distress indeed panic because it is like waterboarding torture. How do cats feel when this drug is delivered to them? And can the syringe be positioned accurately enough to avoid causing pain? Please click on this link for more on this topic.

So the question in the title is really born out of stereotyping the male of the human species. We expect women to cry when their cat dies but we might not expect it from men which I think is silly. And the fact of the matter is that a man who is a good cat caregiver is going to be sensitive enough to feel a huge amount of grief on that dreaded day when he has to say goodbye to a companion who has been loyal to him for 15-20 years.

RELATED: Jackson Galaxy provides advice on when to euthanize your cat.

The last caring act of a good cat guardian is to be present when he or she is euthanised in the consulting room of a veterinary clinic. It is a dreaded moment. There might have been a six month or more build up to that moment. There will be tension. There will be great difficulty in deciding when to euthanize. Therefore there will be mental torment.

It is absolutely normal to cry under those circumstances. In fact men should let themselves go because crying is healthy under the circumstances. I would be surprised if a man didn't. Perhaps if they didn't it would indicate that the bond between them was less than ideal.

Sometimes you never get over the loss of a cat companion. I haven't. It's been 27 years since I lost my cat that I loved dearly. She was killed on the road and that is my fault. And I think of her often. I can't talk about her without the emotions come back and the tears flowing.

Karen Baker on the website puts it very nicely. She said that before she married her husband she knew that he had a very close bond with his Maine Coon cat, Ty. And when he married him Ty gradually accepted her. She was thankful for that. And sadly when the moment came through old age to say farewell at that final trip to the vet, it hurt her husband tremendously.

He seems to have been quite a quiet person. I will let Karen explain what happened:

About a week later, my husband was sitting at the kitchen table, coffee cup ignored as he stared off into the backyard. And I knew. I just knew what he was thinking.

Very softly I spoke to him. “I miss him too.”

My husband turned to face me, wiping the tears from his face.

There is nothing shameful for mourning a family member, a best friend, a loyal companion.

As I said, I think she writes about that very nicely.

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