Measuring the power of different types of love from parent-child to cat lover

Parental love is the most intense and more intense that one's love for a pet by Michael Broad

This is a cross-post from another website of mine. A Finnish study figured out which type of love is the most powerful by MRI scanning participants' brains when they were told stories reflecting different types of love. I'm referring to the following types of love:

• Parents' love of their children
• The love between romantic partners
• The love between close friends
• The love that a pet caregiver has for their companion animal
• The love of a person towards a stranger who needs help and
• The love of nature

Which of these is the most powerful? Which of these forms of love activate most parts of the brain as indicated by the MRI scan? The following is the list in descending order of strength on my reading of the study:

1. Parents' love their children comes top. This type of love activated more parts of the brain than the other forms of love. In parental love there was a deep activation in the brain's reward system, in the striatum area, while imagining love. This was not seen in any other type of love.
2. The second most potent form of love was romantic love which is also strongly activated part of the brain relating to reward, attachment and motivation.
3. The third most powerful form of love is found between the love of friends.
4. The fourth most powerful type of love is one's love of a companion animal.
5. And the fifth is the love of a stranger that requires help in a compassionate act which some participants questioned whether this was indeed an act of love. There was much less brain activity in this kind of love.
6. On a par with the love of a stranger requiring help, or higher is the love of nature which activated very different brain regions "that were absent for interpersonal love" causing activity in areas unrelated to social skills. People need to connect with nature to feel healed (my personal viewpoint).

The study demonstrated the wide range of the concepts of love and its complexity.

Comment: I have said this before, I think it is a little dangerous to generalise as this study has done because you will find many instances of independent, single people living with companion animals who they love more than anything else in the world and upon whom they rely completely and vice versa.

The study recruited 55 people aged between 28-53. They had at least one child and were in a loving couple relationship. 27 of them had companion animals.

Citation

Pärttyli Rinne, Juha M Lahnakoski, Heini Saarimäki, Mikke Tavast, Mikko Sams, Linda Henriksson, Six types of loves differentially recruit reward and social cognition brain areas, Cerebral Cortex, Volume 34, Issue 8, August 2024, bhae331, https://doi.org/10.1093/cercor/bhae331

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P.S. please forgive the occasional typo. These articles are written at breakneck speed using Dragon Dictate. I have to prepare them in around 20 mins. Also: sources for news articles are carefully selected but the news is often not independently verified. Also, I rely on scientific studies but they are not 100% reliable.

Love completely healed this shy, 18-year-old, polydactyl, deaf, tortoiseshell, hoarded cat

What can you say except love conquers all. People ask what should a new comer to cat caretaking do when they adopt a cat? Love her completely and all the knowledge you need will flow from that starting point because you'll be eager to learn and communicate with your cat. With cats love is always reciprocated. The more the better.

The caregiver in the video had lots of experience and she poured it out all over her unadoptable shelter cat. Poly the cat had all the wrong attributes for being adopted at a shelter. Sometimes you'll meet people who go against the grain and adopt the least popular cat at a shelter.

Every time it works out great. It is thanks to the person. They have a brilliant attitude. They are special people. Like Poly in the video the cats adore these adopters. Listen to Poly purr. It is intense. The purr speaks volumes about the closeness of the relationship. 

If only all human-to-cat relationships were like this. There'd be not feral cats, no 'bad cat behaviour', no cats abandoned to shelters or besides the road. Just great relationships all the way to the end of the cat's life.

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P.S. please forgive the occasional typo. These articles are written at breakneck speed using Dragon Dictate. I have to prepare them in around 20 mins.

Do cats actually love their owners?

I think you've got to start this discussion with a definition of the word "love". And I think most people would agree that it means an intense affection for another. Although this is a very elastic definition. What I mean is that love is a very personal emotion. Different people have different depths of emotion for their significant other when they say that they love them.

And bearing in mind that the term is elastic and that the word "love" normally applies to the affections that a human has for another, it is impossible to come to any other conclusion that a domestic cat can love their owner, in their way, depending upon whether their owner loves them and treats them in a way commensurate with that love.

Love is a two-way street. A person can love another if that person doesn't reciprocate but it won't last. It'll fizzle out eventually. So, love feeds on the love of another. It is entirely mutual as I see it. The love of one magnifies the love of the other and vice versa.

So, taking that introduction into cat ownership, in the best examples, the cat owner loves their cat deeply. They care for them beautifully. They provide a beautiful, enriched feline environment for their cat which is thoroughly enjoyed. The caregiver feeds the best quality cat food and they spend hours together in play and cuddling.

Under that scenario, a cat will love their owner. I think it's impossible to come to any other conclusion. It has to be said, though, that we do not know what is in the mind of a domestic cat. At least we don't know what is in that mind accurately. We can guess through their body language and their vocalisations. But nobody has yet has actually truly read the mind of a domestic cat.

This mutual love between human caregiver and domestic cat is supported, I believe, by the fact that in this relationship the owner is a surrogate mother to an adult cat who feels like a kitten. That's because their every need is provided for. It's just like a cat mother is looking after their kitten.

This is a useful point to make because it supports what I have just said. A kitten is going to have a close connection with their mother and there will be a mutual love bond between them. That's exactly what the cat owner and their cat should replicate.

You can go further than that when the owner is imprinted on the brain of the cat that they are their true mother. This is when the owner has raised a newborn kitten and become imprinted on that kitten has a feline mother not a surrogate mother. And this imprinted mentality will be there for the rest of the cat's life. Under these circumstances there will be a special and super-close relationship of mother and offspring.

I think everybody would agree that the mother-to-offspring relationship is bonded by love and it doesn't matter what species of animal we are talking about.

But I have to return to the beginning and say that the word love is elastic. We don't know how cats feel except that we do know they feel contentment and pain. They are sentient animals. They indicate very strongly to us that they love being around us if we are good cat caregivers. 

They like to sleep on us and next to us. They like to lick us in a friendly example of allogrooming. They like our emotional warmth and our physical warmth. They like the way we smell. They greet us at the front door and they are thoroughly connected to us.

These are all the ingredients of mutual affection which when deep enough qualifies as love.

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The above section of this article was straight out of my head. That's me, Michael. I would like briefly to refer to the words of Dr. John Bradshaw who is a renowned cat behaviourist and who wrote the book Cat Sense. I'm referring to his book.

He says that domestic cats don't automatically love people. "Cat are not born to love people. It is something they have to learn when they are kittens-they do not automatically love other cats [either]."

In that statement Dr. Bradshaw is stating that cats have the potential to love people. He therefore supports what I have said above.

But the whole process of learning to love a person starts off with being socialised. Unless a domestic cat is socialised at an early age, they will probably never totally lose their inherent fear of humans. They will lose 99% of it if and when they are socialised later as adults but it is far better that they are socialised when they are newborn kittens. They lose the fear of people and then building on that they are able to love people especially their provider, their caregiver.

The video maker things cats can love their owners:

Why do a lot of people hate cats? 8 reasons listed.

A lot of people love cats too. The domestic cat is slightly more popular than the dog as a companion. This is probably because the cat fits better into a modern busy society. However, it does seem that people have stronger feelings about cats. This results in more people hating cats. Why is this?

Cat Hater. This is part of a poster by Ruth aka Kattaddorra.

I'll list what I think are the reasons in order of importance. If you have any ideas, please leave a comment:

1. Lack of knowledge of cats handed down generation to generation. Children learn from their parents. If their parents have distorted ideas about cats for whatever reason (usually because their parents had the same ideas) then the kids inherit these thoughts. It is self-perpetuating. As the domestic cat is the most popular companion animal, I feel confident in saying that if a person hates a cat, it more or less has to be due to incorrect ideas about the cat. Why do the parents of kids have these 'distorted' ideas? These are reasons:

2. Fear. The cat is probably the world's most effective predator. The cat has sharp claws and a strong bite. The cat is quick and athletic. Some people are scared of that. It is as simple as that. If you fear something you won't like it. In fact, it can lead to preemptive killing or abuse. Fear of cats can be acute when it is called: Ailurophobia. But often it is just in the background.

3. Independence. Cats give the impression of being very independent. They can be but the domestic cat is actually totally dependent on us. Cats do their own thing. You can't force a cat to do something. This irritates some people who like to get their own way with other people. Alpha types are like that and they prefer dogs. The cat can seem aloof and often people who hate cats say they are 'mean'. Perhaps needy people require the cat to be more giving. The problem ultimately is a human problem and not related to the cat's independent air.

4. Feral and stray cats. There are too many. This is bad publicity for the domestic cat. The feral cat is forced to lead a dirty, cruel and short life in a human world. They are often ill with infectious diseases. Some are zoonotic. Is this why people see the cat as 'dirty'? The problem is the feral cat per se. The problem is the people who created the feral cat. Once again, this a human misconception but it is a reason why some people hate the cat.

5. Superstition. This goes back to the Middle Ages (14th century etc.). There is a long history here and the human race has still not released itself from the shackles of superstition.  There is still a lot of superstition. Black cats are bad luck etc.

6. Gay. Some people, I must say they are ignorant people, think that if a boy or man likes cats, he has to be gay. Rubbish; but this may have a negative impact on the male of the species liking cats. In any event being gay is irrelevant but there is still a lot of baggage in society attached to the word "gay". It was illegal in Britain at the time of Oscar Wilde and still is in some countries today.

7. Grooming habits. I have read some websites where religious types say they don't like the fact that cats lick their bottoms. They see this as dirty and devil-like. In fact the cat is very clean. Almost certainly cleaner than the average human!

8. Predation. This is the last item on my list but it is perhaps the most important. A lot of people don't like the fact that domestic cats prey on much loved wild animals such as birds. Obviously, bird lovers in particular dislike cats for this. Ironically, most cat owners are more concerned about their cat's safety as a reason for keeping them inside and not to protect wildlife. 

But there is increased pressure on keeping cats inside because there is a heightened awareness about the environment nowadays due to global warming and the gradual destruction of the natural world by people due to consistent human population growth and a lack of sufficient concern for nature.

When people see the destruction of wild species, they tend to pass the buck onto cats rather than look to themselves as the cause. And this can attract hatred for the domestic cat and perhaps more so the feral and stray cat. Once again people tend to forget that the feral and stray cat is a product of their own carelessness. This is a blind spot for humankind.

Associated: i hate cats.

How do I make my cat love me?

How do I make my cat love me? You can answer the question in one sentence. Love her or him. If that is your starting point you will respect your cat as a cat but you will treat her as a member of the family. They are open to being friends and bonding. Just open the door to them. In respecting her you will understand her behaviour and requirements. 

You will understand that she needs to behave naturally to be happy. And if you provide that environment and she is happy she will be inclined to love you. And if you give her the best quality food that you can it will also help to make her love you. But above all all your actions must be the actions of a person who loves their cat.

So you will pet her in a way that she likes. You will learn what she likes through observation and by trial and error but all the time it will be gentle and respectful. And you will learn her rhythms and routines. You will learn her fears, her likes and dislikes. You will prevent the circumtances that make her fearful. And everything that you do in relation to her will be based upon what you've learned with the objective of making her happy.

A domestic cat must be able to behave as naturally as possible in the human home. Any animal who is prevented from behaving naturally will find it difficult to be happy. They will be more inclined to be anxious. The inherent abnormality of the human home can create anxiety in domestic cats. Human caretakers have to overcome this. The home should be as calm as possible. Multi-cat homes need to be proficiently managed. You'll need skills.

There should be a minimum of intrusive noises and activities. Reassurance can come from routines and rhythms in the life of the cat's caretaker. Cats will pick up on this and follow them.

If you love your cat you will provide her with some high vantage points were she can rest in safety. They love moving vertically. Meet that desire. You will also provide some hiding places where she can rest and hide when she feels anxious. You will allow her on your lap if she wants to be there even if it inconveniences you. You will allow her to come on to your bed at night because in terms of scent the human bed is the centre of the universe.

If you have a close bond with your cat, which is your objective, your scent is very important to her. Domestic cats rely far more than we do on their sense of smell. It is perhaps more important than their eyes in identifying objects.

Because it is so important and because the bed is in the words of Jackson Galaxy a "scent soaker" she should be allowed on it and even inside it with you under the covers. Don't balk at allowing this to happen. Put away any squeamishness. It will improve the bond between you both and in doing that it will make her happier and you as well.

A lot of cat owners think that they should lock their cat out of the bedroom at night. I strongly disagree with this for the reasons mentioned above. Like I said at the beginning, you respect your cat and treat them as felines but you should regard them as members of the human family. You would not keep your child from coming into the bedroom at night so why should you do the same thing with your cat? If getting into the bed is impossible for you build a little bed for her in the bedroom.

You want your cat to find her mojo, the raw wild cat inside of her which should be expressed as near as possible in the way would that it be expressed if she was free-living in a wild place. Many domestic cats live inside the home full-time. This puts extra pressure on owners to make their world as natural as possible.

Cat window box. Pic in the public domain.

If permissible and if the budget allows at least build a window box which is a construction that sits inside a window frame but juts outside so that they can sit in it and smell the air and be closer to nature. Better still build an enclosure attached to the house. Once again this allows a cat to experience nature at least to a limited extent. This in turn allows a more natural existence for them. This brings pleasure and with pleasure they are more likely to love you.

Catio in the Middle East. Image in public domain.

Never shout at your cat or punish her. They don't understand punishment. They don't like loud noises and they will pick up your animosity towards them if you shout at them. Use a melodious and gentle voice with her. Cats do not need to hear a cat-like voice to understand or appreciate you. It should be a calm voice which is reassuring. A lot of what we do in regard to our cat is to reassure them because they are quite nervous creatures although it does depend upon the individual personality.

Don't punish your cat. Poster: Ruth aka Kattaddorra.

As mentioned, feed them the best quality cat food that you can but don't overfeed them. Do not try and buy their love with human treats to an excess. Give them the odd treat but not too much because if your cat becomes obese that is not an example of loving your cat. It is an example of indirectly and perhaps inadvertently abusing your cat because obesity brings health problems. You would be harming your cat if you allowed her to become obese. There is an epidemic of feline obesity partly because many people themselves are obese and they have failed to recognise what obesity really is.

Obesity brings feline Type II diabetes and other illnesses just like it does with humans. The coronavirus pandemic has targeted obese people. By far the majority of people who have died because of contracting Covid-19 are obese people. You want your cat to be healthy. A healthy cat is more likely to be a happy cat and a happy cat is more likely to love you.

If a cat is miserable because she is unwell it will be impossible for her to love anybody because she will be too unhappy. And finally, at the end of her days you will probably have to decide to euthanise her. The timing of this process is vitally important. 

It should be an objective decision in the interest of your cat and not of yourselves. Sometimes people delay this decision because they do not want to say goodbye to the cat that they love. This can prolong pain and distress in a cat through a chronic illness. Seek the advice of a good veterinarian who has at least 10 years experience and who knows felines and is sensitive.

Be with your cat when she dies. Your last duty as a loving cat guardian. Image: PoC.

And finally, on the day that she is euthanised you should be there with her, to comfort her and to say your goodbyes. This is your final duty, the duty of a person who loves her cat and who is loved in return.

Allow the friendship between cat and person to grow over many years

What I'm going to say is essentially common sense but I do believe that it is worth saying it nonetheless. It comes from first-hand experience, actually. When you adopt a kitten and live with her for the remainder of her life your relationship will change over those 15 to 20 years.

Man loves cat and vice versa. For illustration purposes only. Pic in public domain.

This is because you will change, your circumstances will change and above all the character of your cat companion will change. Of course, it depends upon the inherent character of the cat (and person) and the environment in which they live. But if your cat is a little bit feisty and perhaps a bit standoffish which may concern you slightly then you might expect things to improve over the next 10 years as your cat goes from being a teenager, through to being a youth and then to a middle-aged lady.

It's my experience that a feisty little male cat can become quite mellow in middle-age. I prefer the mellow character. And if you are consistent with the love that you deliver to your cat through excellent care, the bond will deepen between you. There is a reward because your cat will become more attached to you and more often than before seek your attention and enjoy being with you, perhaps lying on your lap or next to you in bed.

The point worth making is that the relationship deepens but the deepening depends upon how the relationship is managed by the person. It is the person who is in charge. Consistency in excellent caretaking with plenty of tender loving care will warm the relationship as the years go by.

It will become very beautiful and tender. Both parties will be supported and enjoy the relationship. The lesson is to be patient, very patient and think long-term. Also be consistent and develop those routines and lifestyles which cats like. They need the reassurance of a well developed routine which suits them. It gives them confidence and through confidence they can express their personality more positively and thereby show their love for you.