I had never heard of the word "emophilia" until today when I read The Times newspaper. So I learned something today and I would like to pass it on as it might interest others. You might know of somebody who meets people and then quite soon afterwards declares that they are in love with that person. That the person is "the one".
And then they promptly split up and start all over again with somebody else. This person might be an emophiliac; a person who falls in the out of love a lot and enjoys the emotional rush of the process.
Until now, as far as I know, psychologists haven't put a label to this form of human behaviour. Now they have. Dr. Daniel Jones, associate professor of psychology at the University of Nevada coined the term "emophilia". He describes it as the tendency to fall in love fast and often.
It's possible that Shakespeare's Romeo may have been an emophiliac. He starts off by falling in love with Rosaline at the beginning of the play and declared that there was no one fairer than her. He then swiftly turns his affections to Juliet who also gets a similar compliment with the phrase "It is the east, and Juliet is the sun."
There is a spectrum of intensity when it comes to haemophilia. Some people are high on the scale while others are low on the scale. Most people are in the middle. Dr. Daniel Jones said that people who are highly emophilic repeatedly "seek the rush of romantic emotions, immediate romantic corrections, and the rapid development of romantic love."
It is a kind of addictive rush it seems to me. It's not that the similar it seems to a kind of drug; the drug of love and the emotions that flow from it. Dr. Jones added that for these people it's about want not need. Actually sex addiction comes to mind to which is also seeking a rush to temporarily brighten up one's life.
The predictable downside to this form of falling in love is that you don't give yourself time to ensure that you have connected with the right person. You don't have enough information about the person. It seems that you bypass the usual niceties and introductions and getting used to each other so that you know each other before falling truly in love.
Studies have found that people high in emophilia are more likely to lie and cover for their partner even if they have only known them for a short time. They are also more likely to be unfaithful.
Once emophiliacs get into a relationship they don't turn off their emophilic tendencies. They appear to go onto the next person.
"If someone did fall in love overnight and maintained that relationship faithfully with no other love interests until death, I would not classify that person as high in emophilia. Thus, although the development of a romantic connection must be fast for emophilia to be present, it must also be repeated."
His advice to people "suffering" from this form of addiction as I would call it is to be more patient and to give a chance to people who might seem boring at first. They might overlook people they consider to be boring because they can't get the rush that they desire. But these people are more genuine it seems because people who are very smooth and perform well on a first date may have an agenda and may be exploitative.
Dr. Jones added that it was wise to trust the advice of a friend or family member and perhaps a therapist and "remember that emotions and excitement can be easily manipulated but trust and companionship should not be rushed into and a good foundation is critical for a realistic chance to have a relationship work."
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