Woman who loves cats adopted a rescue cat and learned to hate him

This is a story on social media which tells us that it is possible to love cats in general, to want to adopt a cat and then finally adopt a cat after a long wait when you have your own property but thereafter to learn to hate the cat that you adopted. 

It's a sad story and it is possible sometimes for this to happen. Cat owners need to do a reality check and accept it when they feel that they can no longer live with their cat. That doesn't mean abandoning your cat but it might mean rehoming your cat to the best of your ability because that is part of the obligation of a caregiver.

In this instance, the woman said that she waited for the right one to adopt. She wanted an older cat who would be happy living indoors because she lived on the second floor of a house conversion in a one-bedroom flat without direct access to a garden. In short, she adopted a cat to be a full-time indoor cats.

But she found that her elderly male cat screamed at 3 AM in the morning until 6 AM in the morning every night. She had no idea why this was happening. She took her cat to the vet who gave him arthritis injections because they thought that he was suffering from arthritis causing pain. He obviously wasn't. Because the screaming continued.

She got to the point where she couldn't function any more at work because she couldn't sleep properly and she learned to hate him and sought advice on the Internet.

In follow-up posts she said that on third visit to a veterinarian they diagnosed megacolon. And because her cat suffered from megacolon, they decided that it was the reason why he was screaming during the night. I doubt that. 

That might have been one reason but the thing is this: the symptoms of megacolon of very specific and quite apparent and the lady never mentions these symptoms which are: straining to defecate, weight loss, lethargy, vomiting and anorexia i.e. a lack of appetite. And a painful abdomen as well as dehydration and depression.

I would have thought she would have had picked up these symptoms if they truly were present and that her cat was indeed suffering from megacolon. He might have been but I think the more likely reason why he was screaming at night was because this cat, historically, was an indoor/outdoor cat with free access to the outside unsupervised. Keeping him indoors full-time drove him nuts. He screamed at the top of his voice as a consequence. He was asking to be let out.

But the lady couldn't do it because she lived on the second floor and there was no access to the outside. The answer would have been to rehome the him but almost all of the very many people who advised didn't advise this. 

In the end she decided to euthanise her cat because the operation to fix the megacolon was going to be too expensive and perhaps too difficult. And the outcome was uncertain. She said that she he had five good months with her as the vet had administered medications for the megacolon and Feliway to calm him. I don't think the five months were that good. The Feliway indicates that he was agitated by being kept indoors.

I feel a little bit queasy about the story because, as mentioned, I think the underlying and genuine reason why this cat was screaming is because he wanted to be outside, to hunt at night, to roam freely as he had done before. I am guessing but the story indicates that.

To keep cats indoors full-time is a good thing sometimes because it protects wildlife and protects the cat from risk of injury and more severe harm. But sometimes cat caregivers have to accept that their cat is an indoor/outdoor cat. They have to accept that their cat is going to live a risky life relative to being an indoor life. 

People normally keep their cats indoors full-time for their own peace of mind primarily and the secondary reason is to keep their cat safe. I think people need to free up that thought and sometimes, just sometimes, they have to allow their cat to take life risks and decide that what happens is going to happen come what may.

If she decided that and found a way to allow her cat to go outside at night he might be alive today.

Save £50 per year when making a cup of tea and have less limescale in your kettle!

With this hack you'll save £50 per year and have less limescale in your kettle! Help the cat caregiver to help the cat! Image: MikeB

Here is my tip, trick of hack to save money and reduce the amount of limescale build up in your kettle. And it takes less time to make a cup of tea.

In the UK, the price of energy is high currently. It'll probably remain pretty high for the foreseeable future and the cost of living has risen. Budgets are tight in many homes.

What has this got to do with cats?! Nothing directly. But indirectly, yes. We need to look after the cat caregiver to look after the cat!

The 'hack'

Rather than taking the kettle to the faucet (tap) to fill it up enough to make a cup of tea, you take the mug to the faucet and fill it up to between 2/3rds to 3/4 full of water depending on how you like you tea (with or without milk).

Take the mug to the kettle and pour in the water

Boil the kettle and as you do so place a tea bag in the mug

Stay by the kettle as it boils because it'll be fast!

When boiled, pour out all the water leaving as little as possible in the kettle to minimise the buildup of limescale.

How much money will you save?

It depends on the current price of electricity wherever you are! But in the UK, it costs around 1.2 pence to boil a kettle with the correct amount of water in it for one mug. It'll cost around four times that if you just partly fill a kettle.

On average people make four teas/coffees per day.

That makes 4.8 pence to per day (min cost) and 19.2 pence per day the more careless way.

This makes £70 per year for the careless way and £17.52 the more precise way I have described.

The difference in cost is £70 minus £17.52 making £52.48 per year!

If you make a mug of tea in the conventional way you are wasting about £50 per year.

Wrong? Tell me in a comment and we can discuss it!

2 more ways to be a better cat caregiver by being healthier

Image in public domain,

Here are some more ways to be a better cat caregiver by being healthier. It is very difficult to be a good cat caregiver if you are unhealthy and feeling ill. And it's also difficult to be a good cat caregiver if you feel depressed. Depression is on the increase in the US and in the UK.

Previously, a separate report released in May from Gallup found a similar national prevalence of depression in the United States, also finding that about 18% of adults say they are depressed or receiving treatment for depression, a jump of more than 7 percentage points since 2015. - CNN report 15th June 2023.

I have recently written about some ways to improve one's health both in the interests of the caregiver and of the cat:

1. Infographic on 8 habits that could add 24 years to your life (and improve cat caregiving)
2. Be a better cat caregiver by being healthier in consuming olive oil and going vegetarian for 6 months.

Today I would like to address a couple more methods to improve one's health and welfare.

Handful of nuts linked to lower risk of depression

Eating a handful of nuts every day is linked to a 17% lower risk of depression according to scientists. Nuts contain nutrients that could help mental health. Data was gathered from the UK Biobank. This is an online database of medical and lifestyle records concerning half a million Britons. 

The analysis suggested that middle-aged and older adults who ate a daily 30 g serving of nuts including pistachios, hazelnuts, cashews, Brazil nuts, almonds and walnuts were less likely to report to their GP that they were depressed and are less likely to be taking antidepressants.

The study has been published in the journal Clinical Nutrition. This is an observational study which means they saw this link but they don't explain why the link exists. But they speculate that the anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties of nuts may act as antidepressant nutrients.

The scientists explained that nuts contain bioactive substances such as phenols or phytosterols. They also contain micronutrients, fibre, high quality protein, monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fatty acids together with vitamins all of which could play a role in improving mental health.

The lead author, Bruno Bizzozero-Peroni, a researcher at the Health and Social Research Centre at the University of Castilla-La Mancha, in Spain said: "Our findings highlight yet another benefit of consuming nuts."

The researchers looked at data from more than 13,000 people aged between 27-73 over the years 2007 to 2020. They did not report having depression at the start of the study. The researchers asked participants to complete questionnaires to assess nut consumption and they compared this to doctors' diagnoses of depression or antidepressant use which was recorded.

More than 1100 cases of depression were recorded representing 8.3% of the participants after a follow-up of more than five years. And they discovered, as mentioned, that those who ate 30 g of nuts a day had a 17% lower risk of depression compared to those who did not eat nuts.

Just 2337 steps a day can cut risk of disease

This is about something a lot of people know quite a lot about namely walking and measuring how many steps you take when you go for a daily walk. I'm told by The Times that in the lead up to the 1964 Tokyo Olympics, marketing executives started a campaign to promote a new pedometer and suggested that people should walk 10,000 steps a day. It has, since then, been touted as a good target to stay fit and healthy.

It is quite a high target. You have to go for about a 50 minute to 1 hour walk or more to reach that figure but a new study shows that if you walk the equivalent of 2,337 steps daily it's enough to reduce the risk of dying but the more you walk the more the benefit.

The scientists analysed information from 226,889 people involved in previous studies in many countries including Norway, Australia, America and Britain.

The daily average step count was recorded and compared to their likelihood of dying during a follow-up period averaging seven years. The study has been published in the European Journal of Preventative Cardiology. It confirmed what I have stated. The 2,337 steps a day has been identified as the minimum at which one can see a significant reduction in the risk of dying from heart disease or stroke.

The lead author, Prof Maciej Banach from the Medical University of Lodz in Poland Said: "Our study confirms that the more you walk, the better. We found that this applies to both men and women, irrespective of age and irrespective of [where you live]. In addition, our analysis indicates that as little as 4,000 steps a day are needed to significantly reduce deaths from any cause, and even fewer to reduce deaths from cardiovascular disease.

The NHS recommends that people should do at least 150 minutes of moderately intense activity such as walking every week or 75 minutes of vigorous activity over the same period.

Be a better cat caregiver by being healthier in mind, body and spirit.

A stressed cat owner cannot be a good cat owner

We know how competently even brilliantly domestic cats can de-stress their owner. It's one reason why we live with cats. They are great companions and they help stop us from getting too wound up because once they are on your lap you have to slow down a bit. And they get in the way when you are on your computer. You either accept that and work around it or you fight it and become more anxious and stressed.

A stressed cat owner may have a stressed as well and a stress cat owner cannot really discharge their responsibilities to a high level. The image is by Michael.

But the point is that if a cat owner is stressed by their lifestyle, by their work or by any manner of reasons, they are not going to be a great cat caregiver.

Stress leads to anxiety and anxiety leads to depression. You can't be a good cat caregiver if you are stressed and anxious although, as mentioned, there is the counter measure which is that although being stressed prevents you being a good cat caregiver, living with a cat makes you a better cat caregiver because it calms you down! 

The problem is that in the meantime you are likely to interact with your cat in a less than good way because of your anxiety. If you are irritated because of stress then you are going to be irritated by your cat at some point. And you might yell at your cat or behave towards your cat in a brusque and unsatisfactory way. There is no blame in this. It is just a simple fact.

I know for a fact that if I'm stressed, I'm not going to present the best side of me in terms of cat caregiving. I might be irritated because my cat brushes against my bare legs and at that moment in time I don't want to feel that. I want to get on with what I'm doing and my cat is getting in the way of achieving that.

But in having a cat we have to be prepared to compromise and to give way to our cat. We are sharing the same environment as our cat. The environment should be pleasant and mentally stimulating for our cat.

It's an interesting mix because on the one side there is the responsibility of caring for a cat well and this in itself can make a person stressed, and yet on the other side there is the pleasure of looking after a cat and the pleasures that flow from it which helps to de-stress a person.

A person stressed by the responsibilities of caring for their cat

There is an interesting post on the Reddit.com website about a person who adopted a cat and became very stressed because they wanted to do their absolute best in looking after their cat. They did everything possible to make the life of their cat as good as possible.

In striving for this state of affairs, the cat owner became very stressed. They went to the Reddit.com website to ask for advice because the person didn't even feel a bond to their cat after doing so much for them. And they asked, "How can I stop holding the bar up so high for myself and revolve my life around my cat?"

I think the ultimate answer as to how you relate to your cat and care for your cat is that you must simply love her or him. If you love your cat everything good flows from that starting point. You will find out what your cat likes and loves and what makes them happy and indeed what makes you happy. And you will find out whether you are suited to being a cat caregiver. You've got to actually like or even love cats to successfully live with a cat companion. That must be a starting point and it is common sense but some people might not think about that when they decide to adopt a cat.

There's no point in regarding cat caregiving as solely a responsibility and a duty. It should be a pleasure to look after a cat. Then you receive the pleasure of living with your cat. It should be entirely reciprocal with equal mutual benefit.

Human to human relationship

There is another quick point to make which is this: if you are in a relationship with a person which is not going that well and you both live in the same home as your cat, it's going to affect your cat negatively, which probably goes without saying. It is another source of stress for you and it will taint the ambience of the household. Domestic cats pick up on that. They demand, really, a calm and stable household.

Can a university student on campus successfully own a cat when the cat remains at home with their mother (who does not like cats) and sisters?

Rehoming can be the best solution sometimes. 
Image by Daga_Roszkowska from Pixabay 

Can a university student on campus own a cat successfully when the cat remains at home with their mother and sisters? The actual question on Reddit.com is: Mom is threatening to give cat away because she’s scared of cats and afraid, he’s gonna scratch the furniture.

This is part of her post:

My cat is a year old and he’s mostly chill but has his moments of just running around. My mom is the type where she stays locked in her room when the cat is out and when she’s out she makes my cat stay in my room. I live on campus but come back every weekend so my sisters take care of him in the meantime. 

The following is my answer to the enquiry. Please tell me what you think in the comment.

This is another post from Reddit.com which is about people disliking cats. In this instance, a woman who I believe goes to university has to leave her cat at her mother's home when she is on campus. And her mother says that she doesn't like cats and doesn't want the cat to be around her home. The university student has sisters who also live with her mother at her mother's home. They look after the cat when she is away at university but it doesn't work very well because, as mentioned, the mother doesn't like cats. She is threatening to get rid of the cat so what can the university student do?

And my conclusion is that this young woman, the university student, is not in a settled enough world of her making to currently live successfully with a domestic cat. The situation is too fragmented and unmanageable particularly with the mother who dislikes cats and is concerned about scratched furniture.

The answer in my view is to rehome the cat into a nice home with a loving family where the cat feels welcome. That, in my view, is the responsibility of the current cat owner. When a person adopts or buys a cat, they take on the responsibility of caring for their cat for the cat's life and if things don't work out for whatever reason - and there has to be genuine reasons to give up a cat - the final responsibility of the owner is to rehome the cat carefully.

It is a last resort but sometimes it is the best solution. I think people should be open to that solution but it does hinge on careful rehoming. They might rely upon a good rescue center to do it but great care should be taken because some rescue centres euthanize cats if they can't rehome them. That would not be an option in my view.

I don't think that it is a failure or a weakness to give up your cat to a good home if you genuinely believe it is in the interests of the cat. If that objective is kept in mind, it is fair and sensible. If the objective is to make life more convenient for the owner, then this is not a good reason. That said, if a cat owner is that laissez-faire and uncommitted to cat ownership as to consider getting rid of a cat because they are annoyed by their presence then they probably should rehome them in any case.

Woman licks her cat like a feline mother but is she ingesting fleas!

The news media calls this a 'strange addiction' and it describes a woman uploading videos to Instagram of herself licking her cat like a feline mother. You know what I mean: when a queen (a cat mom who has just given birth) licks her kittens to keep them clean which includes the anal area!

RELATED: Can I get a tapeworm from my cat?

Woman licks her cat like a feline mother but is she ingesting fleas! Image: Instagram screenshot.

Only this woman sensibly agrees that she should not lick the anal area of her cat companion because that would be horrible, she said. Also, she does not lick the feet of her cat companion because there may be faeces on the feet after going to the toilet in the litter tray.

The woman is in her 50s and she has uploaded videos to My Strange Addiction series. She defiantly says that she will not stop her habit.

She said:

I know everybody knows I'm a crazy f***ing cat lady. I'm in my fifties. I don't have any children. I never wanted any children. These are my babies. If I was a momma cat I would clean them just like that.

As you can see, she says that IF she was a mother cat, she would lick them but she isn't a mother cat! She is the cat's caregiver but hey ho, it doesn't really matter. If it pleases her then that's okay provided her cat is also pleased.

You might argue that it is a refinement to stroking a cat. When we pet our cats by stroking them, we are, in the cat's mind, licking them. That is how the cat experiences the sensation.

The woman adds that this is not a sexual thing. I hope so! And I don't see anything sexual in it to be honest. And she says that she doesn't lick butts or their genitals blah blah blah.

She added the following slightly baffling statement:

And I know they're gross. We're all gross. Everything is bad for you. If I want to groom my cat, I'm going to groom my cat. I'm not going to stop licking the cats or eating the cat fur. I'm just not.

People who have seen the video tended to be slightly disgusted! One said that they are not babies but cats and another said that the woman's behaviour was disgusting.

I do not see it that way. I see it as a bit bizarre and a bit offbeat but, as mentioned, if it pleases her and if it pleases her cat then there can be no harm in it. I don't think it is unhealthy for her but see fleas below. She will no doubt ingest some fur but that might be good roughage for her digestive tract!

Fleas!

She might ingest the odd cat flea which would not be a good idea because the life cycle of the tapeworm includes the cat flea. That's how cats develop tapeworms inside them. The flea passes tapeworm eggs into a cat when they feed on the cat's blood.

Image: MikeB

So, provided this woman ensures that her cat is entirely flea-free, there is no prospect of the woman getting a tapeworm inside her gut! I'm not sure that this is a risk that the woman has taken into account. It is not mentioned in any news media article. It would seem to be a genuine possibility depending upon the number of fleas on the cat.

I feel like telling her of the possibility. I would surely stop her strange addiction.

Typical day in Djokovic's diet plan. Banish obesity. Feel well.

This is not directly about cats either wild or domestic! But it is indirectly about them because it is important that cat caregivers remain healthy in order to discharge their solemn duty to care for their cats to a high standard 💔. And we know that there is a human obesity epidemic in America (too much great, cheap food!) and in the UK both among cat owners and even their cats.

Typical day in Djokovic's diet plan. Banish obesity. Feel well. Image: MikeB

This is why it is interesting and useful to study Novak Djokovic's diet. He is the GOAT of the tennis world. He's just won his 23rd major championship, the French Open. You must have heard about it. He is indestructible. I don't like him but I admire him.

It would seem that his great self-discipline as demonstrated in his amazing diet is one of his important attributes which have led him to becoming the GOAT of the tennis world.

He is very into ensuring that his body remains healthy for obvious reasons. He refused the Covid-19 vaccine for that reason, which probably cost him a couple of major championships. He was prepared to forfeit them in order to protect his body as he sees it.

He appears to be a vegetarian. Here is his diet as set out by The Times today, Tuesday, June 13, 2023:

Typical day in Djokovic's diet plan

Breakfast: warm water with lemon first thing out of bed. Followed later by two tablespoons of honey, muesli (including organic gluten-free rolled oats, cranberries, raisins, pumpkin or sunflower seeds and almonds).

Mid-morning snack: gluten-free bread or crackers with avocado and tuna.

Lunch: mixed-greens salad, gluten-free pasta primavera (including rice pasta, summer squash, courgettes, asparagus, sun-dried tomatoes and optional vegan cheese).

Mid-afternoon snack: apple with cashew butter; melon.

Dinner: kale caesar salad (kale, fennel, quinoa and pine nuts) plus dressing (including anchovies or sardines); minestrone soup; salmon fillets (skin on) with roasted tomatoes and marinade.

In addition to his amazing diet, Djokovic's training regime out of competition is as follows:

• 20 minutes of yoga or tai chi
• 60-90 minutes of tennis practice with a hitting partner
• stretching and sports massage
• lunch: 60-minute workout in the gym, using weights, resistance bands and roller exercises.

How about that! 👍😃.

The man is amazing. At 36 he is incredibly healthy despite the enormous stresses he puts his body through when competing. His game is partly dependent on great defensive play which entails fast running with stamina.

Subject to being injury-free he plans to go on until his late 30s and win a few more major championships. His obsession with diet and protecting his body has been a big part of his success.

Be the person that your dog or cat thinks you are!

Ricky Gervais, a well-known animal advocate, tweeted the above saying. Actually, he only referred to dogs but the same applies to cats in my view with a slight difference, which is why I have a section on cats as well on this page.

It is a very pertinent/important saying. If you aren't sure why, I will, with your permission, explain.

Dogs

The domestic dog regards their human caregiver as the alpha. The human caregiver's family is the wolf pack. The dog looks up to the alpha who is the leader of the pack. This accounts in part for their incredible loyalty. Loyalty which allows the human caregiver if they go wrong to abuse their dog and the dog to accept it. 

When that happens, it is something terrible to behold because it is a complete breach of trust and it must be incredibly confusing to the domestic dog to be attacked by the leader of the pack.

This is because the leader of the pack has duties such as guiding, teaching and caring for their pack members. The alpha wolf leads their pack to improved survival chances under difficult conditions. The pack members look to their leader for that kind of guidance.

The alpha wolf is a benevolent dictator if you like. But they must be benevolent. They must behave nicely towards their pack members.

Going back to the title to this post, it is saying that the dog's caregiver/owner should be benevolent towards their dog. It is what their dog is expecting of them. It is what their dog thinks that their human is like. 

The domestic dog's expectation is that their owner is going to be a decent person and in response to that known expectation the person MUST be decent. There is a strong obligation on dog owners to treat their dogs well in order to meet with their dog's expectations.

Gervais and dog. He is the person they think humans should be. Image: Twitter.

Cat

The domestic cat is not by nature a member of a pack. We know that domestic cats are essentially solitary although they have become very sociable creatures throughout the 10,000 years of domestication. This is because they live in human homes where there is often more than one person and pet.

But essentially, the domestic cat views their human caregiver as a surrogate mother. A parent. A mother who cares for them and looks after them. Who feeds them. Who keeps them safe. Who prioritises security.

The cat looks to their mother to provide them with warmth and tender loving care. In the wild, the mother also teaches their kittens how to hunt and survive. The human doesn't do that but in caring for them they keep their cat in a state of permanent kittenhood, in effect.

The domestic cat has a reliance upon the human and that reliance is dependent upon the human acting and behaving decently at all times. That is the cat's expectation. There is an obligation on the human to meet this expectation.

If they are cruel to their cat, once again the animal is confused, bemused, anxious and frightened. It would be a breach of trust once again by the human. It would be a breach too of the unwritten agreement between human and domestic cat which is one of mutual support.

Turkish Van cat lookalike brings her kittens to the person who feeds her in an act of deep trust

The video on Twitter says that this cat was being fed by a person and decided (wisely, it has to be said) to bring her kittens to the person for help in raising them. It is a beautiful example of complete trust from a cat in a human. Good on that human whoever they are.

We are not told but it would seem to me that the video was captured somewhere in the Mediterranean region and perhaps even in Turkey as this cat is a dead ringer for a Turkish Van purebred but is in fact a stray cat.

RELATED: The Real Turkish Van Cat.

The Turkish Van in Turkey is more purebred than the registered selectively bred Turkish Vans in cat shows in America.

Most cat breeds have lost their inherited connection with their origins due to intensive selective breeding by breeders over decades in following breed standards.

Find ways to make your cat happy (short video)

The observant and sensitive cat caregiver will find ways to make their cat happy. They'll know what it is to achieve that goal. One obvious thing that applies to all domestic cats is to groom them in those inaccessible places which is what I am doing in the video. This is just a small example. Little things add up. The passing kiss and cuddle. Singing to him. I don't need to provide a list. It comes naturally to the good and concerned cat caregiver.

For how long should I cuddle my cat?

For how long should I cuddle my cat? The short answer is not long. Image: MikeB.

These are my unresearched views on the topic. Please share yours in a comment as I'd be pleased to hear from you.

What do cats do?

For how long should I cuddle my cat? This is a question people ask on the Internet. The short answer is not long (normally, but there are exceptions). How often do you see cats cuddling each other? And if you do see one domestic cat with their 'arm' (foreleg) around the other (which happens) for how long do they do this? To the first question the answer must be rarely if not sleeping together and to the second question the answer must be for a short time (unless sleeping together).

Domestic cats regard us as surrogate mothers. That's why we keep them in a mental state of kittenhood. On that basis, they wouldn't expect to be cuddled, human-style, by their feline mother other than for a short time unless they are sleeping together. That's a point worth making I feel.

Sleeping together

There is probably a bit of an exception here. Sometimes cats can settle down on a cold winter's night with their human and spend hours with the arm of their caregiver around them. A quiet, gentle cuddle. But this is I feel an exception to the general rule.

It is a state of affairs where humans can share their behavior with cats and dogs.

Cat cuddles a dog friend sleeping. Image in the public domain.

Cultures

This is really about a clash of cultures. The human race has a culture of cuddling each other when needed. And it is needed quite often as a form of reassurance and friendship. It can be part of a greeting or a departure. It's a sign of affection indeed love. We know all these things.

Cat greetings and contacts

But domestic cats don't have the same culture. When they greet in a friendly way, they do so with their tail held erect with the end just flopping over slightly (tail-up greeting). They might touch noses having approached each other (the nose touch greeting).

In subsequent interactions they may rub against each other flank-to-flank. One cat's tail made curl over the other cat's back. These behaviours happen quite fleetingly. They are delicate movements.

But as mentioned there can be long-term cuddle contact when resting and sleeping.

Devon Rexes cuddle. Image in public domain.

Human cuddle

The human cuddle is quite a forceful action. There is an element of squeezing in the human cuddle. This is likely to be uncomfortable for a domestic cat even if they have a close bond with their human caregiver.

And of course, the cuddle means that the two parties are in very close proximity. They are in contact. The human is much larger than the domestic cat. We can be intimidating. They live in a land of giants. We need to be sensitive to that.

If we place our head close to their head, they can feel intimidated. If we squeeze them at the same time, it can be uncomfortable as mentioned. These elements combine to make the experience perhaps tolerable but not particularly enjoyable for some cats.

And if it is enjoyed because they become habituated to it as it happens a lot, they'll normally accept it for a relatively short period of time perhaps around 30 seconds.

Body language

In fact, domestic cats tell you when they want to get down or stopping cuddle. They may wriggle a bit or if you are carrying them at the same time as you see in the picture, they may twist their bodies and look towards the ground to indicate they want to get down.

Wild cat ancestor

The answer comes from observing domestic cat behaviour. Domestic cat behaviour is the product of evolution of the African wildcat. This wildcat is solitary. The domestic cat has learned to be sociable within the human environment.

But essentially this solitary character is within the domestic cat and this is the last factor as to why domestic cats will normally accept being cuddled (but not always because it depends upon the individual cat's character) but for a time which is shorter than the human would wish for.

For our benefit

It perhaps is worth reminding ourselves that when we cuddle our cat, we often do it mainly for our benefit. We are seeking reassurance. We are looking for a friend and companionship. So, we do it for ourselves and therefore we can only expect that our cat will accept it rather than seek it.

Cats are individuals

That said, each cat has their own personality as mentioned and therefore sometimes cats will ask to be picked up and cuddled if, in the past, they have learned to understand that it is a sign of friendship from the human caregiver and enjoyable. Cats do pick up on human behavioral traits and some learn to copy them or integrate them into their livestyles.

Do domestic cats prefer women? Yes, in general, and I'll tell you why.

If you search on Google, "Do cats prefer women?" The answer comes back yes and some of the websites refer to a study. The DVM 360 website summarises the study. And when I read the summary my assessment of the reason why domestic cats tend (but not always) prefer women is because women prefer domestic cats!

Francisca Franken with Bean her adopted rescue cat who happens to be an Exotic Shorthair who nobody wanted because she was described as being feisty, a diva and ugly. I don't see ugliness in this face. Do you? Francisca certainly didn't. Image: Instagram.

Because women prefer domestic cats over dogs, they interact with cats more often and being female, they do so in a more gentle and respectful way generally (not always) than men. This doesn't apply across the board quite obviously. And this is not a black-and-white picture of domestic cats loving women and dogs loving men. It isn't as straightforward as that.

There is a big gray area. But the fact of the matter is that in a home where there is a man and woman, a married couple, and a cat and a dog, the woman will more likely approach the cat to interact with them. They do so nicely. The cat enjoys it. The cat wants to do it again. The cat therefore approaches the woman.

Because a cat-loving woman is bonded to her cat and intuitively begins to understand their body language signals and vocalisations, she responds to approaches by her cat in a sensitive and prompt way. She has developed an understanding about what her cat wants which would be a friendly interaction and some love and tenderness.

Or it might be a request for food or any other request if the cat meowed; and we know that the meow is basically a demand for attention and a request.

Reason

My assessment is that the reason why cats prefer women in general is because they are more likely to get what they want from women and the signs are that women instigate the interactions. In a study the researchers will see more interactions between women and cats than men with cats which gives the impression that cats prefer women. But the beginning of this preference is women being more likely to approach their cat. 

Favours

The study apparently found that cats seem to remember favours done for them and return those favours. For example, if owners comply with their cat's wishes to interact their cat will repay the compliment by complying with their owner's desires to interact. That isn't, in my view, a rational decision. It is simply that domestic cats enjoy interacting with a human being who cares for them and provides for them in a gentle and loving way.

And cats will do things that they enjoy just like people. Let's remind ourselves that domestic cats live in the human world. How they react to that depends on the world that humans create and whether it is cat friendly or hostile even slightly so. Domestic cats are reactive often. They are instinctively reactive.

Men

Now let's refer to men! What got me thinking about this was a video of a couple who adopted a cat, I think primarily to benefit the woman but the cat ended up referring the man. There is a very strong bond between man and cat in this video below. The cat's name is Milo and he is crazy about his human male companion. It's a love. It's as simple as that.

And this tells me really that cats don't really prefer women per se. They prefer people who interact with them in a very respectful kind and gentle, loving way. The cat then associates that person through their behaviour and body odour with pleasant experiences and go to them for more. Perfectly normal.

In the video it will be a bundle of nuanced behaviours by the man which provide signals to Milo that Milo will have a good experience when interacting. For example, he allows Milo to knead his chest through his vest. He tells the camera that it hurts like hell but he allows it to happen because he wants to do it for Milo. He understands that Milo is doing it because he relates to him as his mother.

The man is very tender towards Milo. His respectful and does all he can to please him. This is appreciated. It draws Milo back. It isn't about the gender of the human being. It is about their behaviour and an understanding of feline behaviour.

Infographics on 3 cat companion behaviours that need correction plus training fear out of your cat

 

I am thankful for Jackson's thoughts on this. He has his own language for describing cat behavior. I am not sure that the Infographic needs to be expanded on but I will add some words. 

Fridging and cocooning?

Two of these behavioural traits: liking to be on top of the fridge or underneath furniture which Jackson exceeded describes as fridging and cocooning respectively, are due to anxiety even fear. They are not that uncommon. 

Domestic cats have to be quite wary in some homes where the environment is not really conducive to a cat expressing their natural behaviours.

So, if a cat caregiver sees this kind of behaviour, they might accurately presume that their cat is anxious. Other signs might be over grooming themselves even to the point where they barber the hair from the inside of their legs were on their belly, both easily accessible places.

Treatment

Jackson Galaxy, American's favourite cat behaviourist, suggests that in order to allow a domestic cat to gain their confidence and become less timid, the cat caregiver should provide a cocoon for them which is a transformational place. 

This is a hiding place which is more open to the possibility of them interacting with what is going on around them. It is an intermediate location where a cat can feel secure and when it suits them integrate into general household life.

Train to reduce fear in a cat

Here is another infographic on a similar topic.

Infographic by MikeB at PoC.

Does anybody use dehydrated wet cat food?

I have never considered it but there is an "intermediate" type of cat food which is dehydrated wet cat food. It is shipped in packets as a powder. You pour out the amount that you think your cat can eat at one sitting. You add some warm water and it becomes a pâté or a soup depending upon how much water you add.

The advantages are that you can control the portion size and of course the storage of the food is easier. It is very compact and very long lasting. It gives the cat owner better control over cat food storage and delivery.

How many people use dehydrated wet cat food to feed their cat? Image: The Honest Kitchen

I think this is important because often cats don't finish the portion provided because the sachet is too big or perhaps the owner gives them too much. I don't know how many millions of tonnes of wasted, smelly wet cat food is thrown away into garbage cans annually in any one country but I expect that it is a vast tonnage.

Anything to reduce cat food waste would be welcome. I think dehydrated wet cat food is a great way to control portion size as mentioned. There appear to be some downside. It is not that readily available it seems to me in the UK (for instance). It appears to be less common than conventional wet cat food and certainly much less common than dry cat food.

And of course, you've got to add warm water which means using the kettle. A small irritation but one nonetheless. And finally, it appears to be expensive. Some cat food nowadays is inordinately expensive. It looks more expensive than human food and cat owners don't have a bottomless pit of money.

There has to be a reasonable balance between the advantages of living with a cat and the expense of keeping a cat. Cat owners have a duty to provide high quality cat food and a lot of cat food is not of high quality particularly cheap dry cat food.

However, there is a limit and I suspect that the apparent lack of popularity of dehydrated wet cat food is due to its expense. Have you tried it?

If it is more expensive and it appears to be this may be due to the manufacturing process. It is dehydrated after all so all the moisture is taken out of wet cat food. That might be an expensive manufacturing process.

The point has to be made that it is impossible to try and make comparisons on price between the various types of cat food. It's far too complicated which is why I have questioned whether it is more expensive than conventional wet cat food.

If you have personal experiences of using dehydrated wet cat food then please share them in a comment. They would be most welcome.

Stupid risk averse Westerners don't set off fireworks like this!

Take a look at this. I know that it is not directly about cats, but it is indirectly because it is about being risk averse.  Risk aversion goes to the heart of everything we do and achieve. Modest risk aversion is good but being overly risk averse is bad as it stunts development and experiences. It leads to less of a life. This philosophy affects how we care for our cats. 

Risk aversion is part of decision making in cat caretaking - Michael

In fact, it goes to the heart of the debate on full-time indoor cats and indoor/outdoor cats. I am not saying that the full-time indoor cat life is bad. Far from it. Often it is very sensible. I am saying though that a lot of the time the reason why cat owners confine their cats to the home is for peace of mind. It is primarily for the benefit of the human and not the cat.

This guy (not living in the West) is not risk averse. No sir. Image: Screenshot from video. Sorry the quality is so poor.

And there has to be an 'and', when domestic cats are confined to the home for their life, they become zoo animals in effect. The owners do not compensate by entertaining their cat sufficiently. The environment is insufficiently enriched. 

I can think of only one example where the cat owner truly committed to designing the interior of their home half for the benefit of their cat companions and half for themselves. And I have seen tens of thousands of pictures and examples.

This is the big, hidden failure of the full-time indoor cat argument. If all homes with full-time indoor cats were built half for cats and half for humans plus a large catio, I'd accept it. But it is not like that.

Cat owners don't need to abandon their cats during the cost-of-living crisis

There are reports online in the news media websites that cat owners are abandoning their cats to shelters as the increased cost-of-living bites. This refers to the UK but I am sure there are inflationary pressures and cost of living pressures in other countries. This is the big discussion at the moment: how to reduce your living costs in order to cope with the dramatic rise in gas and electricity because that megalomaniac Putin is holding the world to ransom by stopping the supply of gas. 

Please note that I'm referring to standard, typical households. I realise that there are many households where costs have already been cut to the bone and I have great sympathy for these people. But I have to talk about typical family homes in this discussion.

I have probably waffled a bit too much in this article but the point of this article is that cat owners need to do all they can reduce household expenses other than those expenses to do with maintaining a domestic cat and providing them with excellent care. This is because it is far easier to shave off costs on households running costs then it is to cut corners and skip on the funding needed to provide excellent cat caregiving. 

Cat owners don't need to abandon their cats during the cost-of-living crisis. Think thermostat! ✔️

The reason why electricity goes up when the price of gas goes up is because there are gas fired power stations generating electricity. And the reason why the cost of wholesale gas has gone up dramatically in the UK even though we do not import gas from Russia or at least very little of it is because wholesale gas is priced internationally.

I don't think you need to abandon your cat to a shelter. What cat caregivers need to do is sit down and think very seriously about how they can reduce their household expenses OTHER THAN those relating to cat caregiving. 

They may surprise themselves that great savings can be made. And the key in making savings to household expenses is this: the price of gas and electricity has risen about fourfold i.e. it is four times as expensive now as it was about a year ago. This is shocking to many people but because it is so expensive small changes in reducing the amount of gas used can bring equally dramatic reductions in costs.

On the conventional formula (at previous gas and electricity prices), it is said that if you turned down the central heating thermostat by 2°C you can save £200 a year. That's based upon the previous costs of gas. If the cost is four times higher the savings will be four times greater. Also, I am making a presumption that you will be turning down your thermostat from about 22°C to 20°C or from 21°C to 19°C. 19°C is perfectly acceptable if you wear warm clothing indoors.

Therefore, you might save £800 a year by simply turning down the thermostat and putting on a nice warm dressing gown! You will then be able to keep your cat because the cost of keeping a cat is about £1500 max. per year.

Reducing your heating costs, in effect, halves cat caregiving costs. And you can turn off the thermostat in the room that you don't use in your home. Or you can turn off the central heating completely and use a small bar heater to heat the area around you.

There are other aspects of living which can be adjusted to save costs. You can turn off all your appliances and devices, which are usually on standby, at the socket save around a hundred pounds a year potentially. Just these two aspects of living should be able to allow you to keep your cat.

And I don't think people should be skimping on the cost of food and veterinary care. Also, there are some good aspects to this cost-of-living crisis as it is called. It will make people think harder about how they live and where their money goes. It will cut some of the fat out of their lives. It will make people more resilient. It will make people more self-discipline, hopefully.

It will help reduce food waste. There is an awful lot of food waste in the UK and other countries. If people bought food more carefully and ate all the food that they bought they would save hundreds of pounds annually. This would offset the cost of keeping a cat. Do you eat all the food that you buy?

I do not want to sound like a saint but I eat 99.9% of the food that I purchase. And I do not think that it is that difficult to achieve this. It's a question of building up habits. People become deeply entrenched in habits and don't see how they can change them. But the trick is to make the change, to make that first step and then you set up new habits which become perfectly acceptable but which seemed unacceptable beforehand.

The conclusion is to think hard about surrendering your cat and before you do so work out how you can reasonably cut household expenses, particularly with respect to gas and electricity because it is here that the best savings can be made.

Punishing a cat versus deterring a cat humanely

Punishing a domestic cat and deterring a domestic cat can be one and the same thing but they can also be entirely different. I attempt to explain the difference here.

This topic is about the difference between punishment and what Dr. Bruce Fogle DVM calls "divine intervention". It's about deterring your cat from doing something without the cat associating the deterrence with their caregiver.

We know that punishing a cat is pointless because a cat does not have the mental capacity to understand the whole concept of punishment; a human process. For them, it is being harmed or made anxious because they are behaving normally. If you punish your cat by yelling at them or, God forbid, hitting them after they've done something that you don't like they will simply see you as a person to be avoided thereby breaking the bond which is so essential to a good relationship and which is the reason why you adopted a cat in the first place.

RELATED: Do ultrasonic cat deterrents work?

Image: RSPB

The way to deter a cat by invoking "divine intervention" is to ensure that your cat experiences something which is mildly unpleasant when they do something that you don't want them to do. And at the same time there is no linkage between that mild unpleasantness and you, the owner.

Cats learn from experience. So going right back to the time when they are kittens, if they try to do something and they suffer a bad experience because of it they will not try to do it again (normally).

Dr. Fogle provides two examples. You can put double sided tape on a kitchen counter which will be unpleasant when a cat jumps up on it. I don't like tinfoil on kitchen counters because that can terrify a cat which would not be "mildly unpleasant".

If you don't like your cat to jumping onto your bed, Dr. Fogle DVM suggests an infrared beam from a tiny burglar alarm that sets off a siren. The cat doesn't like the sound and escapes from the bedroom. Or your cat is about to scratch the sofa and silently gets a shot of water in their face from a water pistol. They don't see that you have the water pistol. It is divine intervention or an act of God as the veterinarian states.

The two most common divine intervention cat deterrents concern the backyard or back garden. One has a motion sensor which then sprays water onto the cat and the other is an ultrasonic device which sends out a high-pitched sound which deters the cat. They operate automatically and therefore they are true acts of God from the cat's perspective.

RELATED: 2 devices I would try first to keep cats out of your backyard plus alternatives.

These are just examples of ensuring that there is no connection between the unpleasantness and the owner. It is making a certain type of behaviour unpleasant, which will obviously be a deterrent.

Personally, I don't employ diving intervention because I allow my cat to do anything which he wants to do because it is natural for him to do it. I don't like imposing my will on him although occasionally I will restrict him doing something because it gets in the way of what I'm doing. That involves a polite signal and words that he understands.

Happy cat. The objective of all cat caregivers. Photo in public domain.

Of course, as mentioned, there are alternative ways to live with and manage your domestic cat companion. For example, not allowing your cat on your bed or even in the bedroom is, on the face of it, unkind because bedrooms are full of the scent of their owner. This is something that domestic cats love.

RELATED: How do I make my cat happy? 

It is reassuring to them. In a good human-cat relationship, cats relish the smells from their owner. To deprive them of this pleasure by banning them from the bedroom is, I would argue, bad cat caretaking. It's a personal decision but if you want to please your cat you will let them into the bedroom and onto the bed.

The same, as far as I'm concerned, applies to letting your cat jump up onto the kitchen counter. People disallow this because they think cats might spread disease but from my perspective humans spread as many diseases a cat but be let them use the kitchen counter. The "banning from kitchen counter" policy doesn't make sense to me.

I can tell when my cat is genuinely hungry by his weight

It sounds improbable but I can tell when my cat is genuinely hungry by his weight when I pick him up. I can feel the differences in his weight. I believe that cat caregivers need to fully understand when their cat is genuinely hungry and will eat the food that is put down before them as opposed to those times when domestic cats sometimes are seeking what I will call "food therapy". Too much wet cat food is wasted. Think how many millions of tons of cat food is waster annually.

My cat has a 'primordial pouch'! Not call domestic cats have them. As you can see he has a perfect body weight or BMI! That's because he is active and eats well.

  

Sometimes domestic cats eat out of boredom I believe or because it is just there and instinctively, they eat some of it. But I know my cat's weight or the feel of his weight by picking him up. And I can tell the difference between when he has lost some weight and when he has gained a little bit of weight. The difference is subtle.

When he feels light, I believe that if he is asking for food at those times, he is genuinely hungry and will eat the entire bowl of food that I put down for him. This has been proved true time and again.

If I'm correct, it is a useful check. I don't know about you but I feel that I waste too much cat food. I decide to give him food with care and with as near certainty as possible that he will eat it. However, sometimes he shows some interest but then leaves it. In that instance you have almost certainly thrown away an entire sachet of wet cat food. 

Perhaps cats vary in this aspect of their behavior. Perhaps some cats are more predictable. But then again perhaps some cats always eat their food and are obese as a consequence.

Sometimes, and I stress that this is quite rare, he does come back to wet food that has been left out for quite a long time and eats it. He does this because it smells stronger and domestic cats are scavengers unlike their wild forebears and so he might scavenge some hours-old wet cat food during the night.

I'm trying to figure out some scientific reason why there is a link between my cat being genuinely hungry and being lighter than normal. I think is because he has gone to the toilet and a few or more hours after going to the toilet his eating rhythms kick in and he is ready for food. That is a guess. Or he is simply more active at some times and eats later than normal. Under these circumstances he burns some fat and therefore feels lighter.

But I can quite definitely detect the difference in how much he weighs simply by picking him up. I can also combine this with palpitating his body. Sometimes he feels a little bit thinner than at other times. There's a natural weight fluctuation. I am sure that this is entirely normal and happens with humans.

Detecting his weight helps guide me as to whether he needs genuinely needs food or not.

Tip to check your cat's teeth

Here is a useful tip to check your cat's teeth and gums. In fact, it checks on oral health which is important as feline oral health is a major health issue in domestic cats. It is a hidden problem as it is hard to check your cat's gums. This is the tip! You buy some cotton buds and use one to run it around the gum line. Your cat should accept this 😎 if done quickly and at an opportune moment. I would hold my cat by the scruff of the neck (not too hard) which would 'deactivate' him for a few moments and long enough to employ this technique.

Image by Pitsch from Pixabay.

If there is blood on the cotton bud and/or your cat shows signs of pain, you can assume that there is a problem and your vet should be booked to take a proper look. Gums should be uniformly pink. If they are blue your cat is anemic.

Ideally you do not want to get this far because, as you might know, if teeth need to be removed your cat will need to be anaesthetised. There is a risk to a cat's health and welfare when they are anaesthetised. I'm sure that you know this but it seems that it is very easy to overlook a cat's oral health.

RELATED: How to check a cat’s mouth for oral health.

Gingivitis is the early stages of gum disease. The gums become inflamed and red. Eventually they bleed. At this point treatment is needed and if not, the health problem progresses to periodontal disease or periodontitis. 

Periodontitis is more serious as bone (jawbone) is irreversibly lost which leads to the teeth becoming loose and being lost as well. Also, the teeth become more brittle and break. An abscess might occur. A linked health condition at this stage is "feline odontoclastic resorptive lesions". These are similar to cavities in our teeth but they are not caused by the same bacteria.

If your cat has a serious oral health problem they will be in pain. They will become anorexic and stop eating. They may drool. Bad oral health can be detected through bad breath, a reluctance to eat, food drop from the mouth and then eaten, pawing at the face or mouth and ruling as mentioned.

Although I never did it myself, I think it would be useful if you adopt a kitten to get them used to a mouth inspection. You know that you can train your kitten to accept all kinds of things which can be highly useful when they are adults. Another thing you can train them to accept is a lead and to walk on a lead. And to accept having their claws trimmed. I missed my opportunity through carelessness but if I had it again, I would train my kitten to accept all the things that are useful to me in providing good care.

How do I clean my cat's ears?

I guess the first point to make is that cats don't need their ears cleaning routinely. In fact, you might never need to do it and probably won't need to do it throughout your cat's entire life. I would argue that it is only under exceptional circumstances when there is an excessive amount of wax, dirt or debris visible in the ear that you should consider cleaning them. It would be unlikely, in my view, for ears to be this dirty under normal circumstances. Seeing some wax in the ear is not a reason to clean them because the wax is there for a purpose i.e. to maintain ear health and to capture bits of debris which head towards the eardrum.

Cleaning a cat's ears. Screenshot.

My reference manual for this article is Cat Owner's Home Veterinary Handbook by four American veterinarians. They say that for small amounts of waxy debris a damp cotton ball or a cotton tipped swab works well. A cat should tolerate it. The vets stress that you should not put any cleaning solution in the ear but use a special cleaning solution from your veterinarian. In America this might be Epi-Optic but just check with a veterinarian first; I would. This is applied to the external ear canal and after application you massage the base of the ear to loosen the dirt, debris and ear wax. You then gently wipe out the ear with a cotton ball.

In the ear flap that there are ear folds and creases and these areas can be cleaned with a cotton tipped swab moistened with oil or a cleaning solution. You don't push the cotton-tip swab into the ear canal under any circumstances as this will make matters worse by jamming the debris towards the eardrum where it will be impossible to get out. You'd have to go to a veterinarian to have that removed professionally.

They also say that you should not use ether, alcohol or other irritating solvents to help you clean your cat's ears. They can cause pain and inflame the tissues inside the ear. Cats will probably object in this sort of ear cleaning so you may have to restrain them. You should try and keep calm and quiet while doing it and provide them with a treat afterwards.

Restraining a cat is quite difficult, I think. Cats can generally struggle against restraint. I also think that you have to work quickly because there will be a time limit based upon how long your cat accepts it. Some will be more pliable than others. 

I think if you hold a cat by the scruff of their neck it will restrain and subdue them but only for a certain period of time perhaps around 15 seconds which sounds very short but this is the kind of time-limit one has, I think, for doing these sorts of procedures. Perhaps two phases of 15 seconds might be the way forward.

The alternative is a towel wrapped around them. This is probably better provided the cat accepts it. It will provide more time.

Here is a video on the topic. I have not seen it except for the first 20 seconds or so. The advice may differ to that provided here.